꒰ ა ♡ ໒ ꒱

meow hii ,
welcome to
my page ! Here ,
i rlly aim to capture myself as a person ,

I've always felt really misplaced on the internet , or even just as a person. I feel as though i have no real sense of identity or jus , persona really. I've grown up kinda changing myself in pleasure of others , so much so that I've lost who I was as a person. I've been struggling with that for a long time now , and even with the outlets i have , it can still get really hard.

When I heard about neocities , i was really hesitant on trying it out , given the fact that i've also been very hestitant on the internet aswell , and kinda just being out there , no matter the reasoning for it. but i always thought it was such a nice thing to use , to have your own little corner on the web where you dont have to worry about the judgement of others and you can use the space as your own space to how you'd like , no matter what. Make it how you'd like, and i find that nice.

Struggling with self-expression has always been a struggle for me , finding what i like, what i dont like, or really anything like that is something i try to avoid most of the time because it's such a tiring task . . . because i don't know myself. i figure maybe having a site like this would be helpful for me with expression.

When I started , i knew i just wanted to put a little bit of everything , I wanted to put different elements of aesthetics , arts , or really anything so you could see the type of person I am. And maybe it would also give myself an oppertunity to see aswell <3

About me !!

Yayy , okay ! M' gonna do my best to give a introduction on myself ,, my name is Jay ! I'me a girl and 17 yrs old , 18 in July !
Umm.. i like a lot of things ! ~ pls look .. <3..
Animes :: 魔法少女まどか☆マギカ , Hellsing Ultimate , Nekopara , Ensemble stars! , black butler, Is the order a rabbit

Hobbies :: Drawing , Editing , Merch collecting , Coding , Crafts , aspiring cosplayer , graphic designs , 2d animation , writing ! !

Colors :: Pastel pinks, whites, brown & black

Animals :: Bunnies , baby dogs , swans , cats (th.. the stupid ones) , Chinchillas !

Games :: Ensemble stars , Needy streamer overload , Final fantasy , Animal crossing Nekopara , Madoka Exedra , project sekai , Muse dash , Slow damage , clean dishes , Love Nikki , infinity nikki , Honkai Star rail & Genshin !

I've always been very quiet when it came to dealing with others i think , aside from when I was a lot younger , i'd say i was more outgoing .. ! These days tho , i always keep to myself and m' kinda just in my own world doing watever i feel , or just kinda existing , time goes by really fast .. . .

I don't really go out a lot and am a very shy , and introverted person . It's really hard for me to start conversation or let alone ave any without feeling soso tired from it , i feel at most peace really when i don't have to worry about interacting with others day to day , since i'm not th best wit speaking . m' a very anxious-written person so ,,my view on th world a nd others are supr extreme waaa

my safest space is mai bedroom !! or my office .,., when m done w schoo l ,i always feel so drained , mentally & physically ,, i hate school .. . But coming home to rest always makes mi feel better . and I neverevrevre wanna leave.,,.,.., ! o and yunno , im a lot more " myself " in my room , I am very fearful of wearing certain things or acting a certain way outside of my room , or even expressing som of th things i like. I realy llike to sing so m always doing that when im alone llolol

I often find myself daydreaming about a lot of different things ,, the type of art i want to create , all the pretty edits to make and crafts , the OCs i wanna make , etc.. ! Tho , i often hav a hard time doing those things... i end up overwhelming myself to th point where i never do anything !!!! Or even th thought of trying sometin new..... as antagonizing it is to me , i would lov to do so many things one day . Even tho i find the most confort in my hobbies wen i feel like things r wayy too heavy , it gets hard 2 do them ,, yunno ?

mm .. i hav a lot of love for lolita fashion .. gothic , sweet & hime ! Im kinda baby lolita... i bought my first coord ~ :D and more 2 come when m' rich !!! Oh oh and Jirai kei , i only hav 1 coord but i think lolita fits me th most cos itt makes mi feel like a princess eueu... i want to be a princess.
Ive had a luvv for many different aesthetics & things and trinkets ovr th years , i lovvv cutegore / cutecore ... coquette , digi , victorian / rococo ( hehe thats what lolita was inspired by in 1970 ... cool righ :o ) , i luvvv horror & grotesque imagery , or anything cute incorporated in2 horror ! i also reallyyy like th vkei scene ehehe...